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Gender is on the agenda in both the community at large, and also in the church. So much is this the case that nowadays we often even add a descriptor of our position on gender to the other labels that we use for identifying the Christian sub-tribes that we belong to. So, I am no longer just an evangelical Anglican, I am now a complementarian evangelical Anglican, as opposed to an egalitarian evangelical Anglican! The unhelpful thing about these labels is that they can appear to simplify positions that can actually be quite nuanced and complex. Indeed, many egalitarian Christians believe that women and men are deeply complementary, and many complementarian Christians (myself included) believe the two genders are completely equal. Because of the current prominence of the issues, the less-than-transparent labels, the significant implications of our beliefs, and for other reasons as well, Christian conversations around gender views are more common nowadays than they have perhaps ever been. My goal here is not to make any direct contribution to those conversations but simply to offer a few suggestions on how we might have them in ways that help us maintain the spirit of unity in the bond of peace as we work towards the truth. In this post, I have some thoughts for anyone having these types of conversations, and in the next, I want to offer a few suggestions specifically for complementarians and a few for egalitarians

Things That Would Be Helpful for Us All

Things That Would Be Helpful for Us All

So, when having the gender conversation, I think it would be helpful for everyone to…

1. Show Grace

This really should go without saying, but sadly, it does need to be said. It is all too easy to caricature, pre-judge or dismiss an alternative point of view on any topic, but none of these would seem to be gracious ways of having a conversation. If we are not ready to be genuinely charitable when we have the gender conversation, we are probably not ready to have it. We may be keen to demonstrate the rightness of our position, but we absolutely do not want to cause undue hurt as we do so. It is always good to remember that we do not always know how the substance of our conversations connects to the personal lives of our interlocutors, of the people they know and love, or of those listening in.

2. Define Terms

As indicated above, the terms used in this debate are not at all transparent. They are also highly loaded. Therefore, for a conversation to proceed helpfully, there should be an agreement on terminology, or at least an agreed understanding about the way each party is using their terminology.

3. Explain the Theological Priority of the Issue and Act Accordingly

If the matter is considered to be a ‘first order’ issue, then a clear case must be made for what this means and why it is so. It may also be necessary to explain why this issue deserves the energy we give to it while other important issues do not get equal attention. If it is considered to be a ‘lower order’ issue, it is again necessary to explain what this means and why this is so. And if it is lower order, it needs to be treated as such. That is, it would be inconsistent to suggest that different views on gender are ‘lower order’ issues, but then to still break fellowship over them.

4. Grapple with ALL the Relevant Bible Texts

In any conversation, there is always a temptation to hone in on those texts that bolster our preferred view. But, to be evenhanded, all the relevant texts must be considered. Furthermore, there ought to be an attempt to understand how all of the teachings of all the texts fit together coherently.

5. Responsibly Exegete Each Relevant Bible Text

This means, for example, that no one ought to make too much of 1 Timothy 2:12 unless they have presented it in light of its place in the whole of verses 8­–15 responsibly explained. Similarly, no one should make too much of Ephesians 5:21 unless they have accounted well for the specific detail of what follows.

6. Declare and Justify Their Hermeneutic

Given that all the same biblical texts should be exegeted and synthesised by anyone involved in the conversation, different conclusions will likely result from different interpretive approaches. Therefore, these should also be open to evaluation.

7. Keep Humble

The debate in the church around gender roles is ongoing because there is at least some ambiguity in some of the Bible’s teachings, and because nobody’s views on the subject are completely watertight. Therefore, as we consider the texts together, we ought to be always open to having our views changed, either in part or in whole. We may find this confronting, but we should always be genuinely open to God transforming us through his word.

8. Come with A Consciousness of Their Own Gender-related Issues

The reality is that some people may feel threatened by people of the opposite gender. Others may feel jealous. Yet others may feel superior. Some people may not feel fully comfortable identifying with their gender, and some may just feel confused. There may be many other personal gender-related issues too. It is not necessarily wrong to feel some of these things, but it may be quite unhelpful to project them too strongly into an exploration of biblical teaching. We will likely serve others better after we have honestly faced any of our own gender-related issues and come to a place of peace.


See here for Part 2 of this article.

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