We are often told to pick our battles, so why is it so many of us keep picking the wrong battles? Leaders go on arguing, losing sleep, getting depressed and resigning over some of the silliest things out there.
What is more tragic still is often these battles are not between evangelicals and people who deny the gospel. Often they are between people who share the same biblical and gospel convictions as the rest of us. So it begs the question: why is it that so many of us keep picking the wrong battles and burning bridges along the way? Let me suggest three reasons why it seems we keep getting it wrong.
1. We don’t pay attention to the context.
Everyone knows the theory. The problem however is the distinction between the good fight and the silly squabble is often very fuzzy and blurred. There are so many battles. It is easy to say pick your battles but which one?
An issue may be worth dying for in one context and of little consequence in another.
The problem is made more difficult by the fact an issue may be worth dying for in one context and of little consequence in another.
For example, consider the case of Paul’s attitude to circumcision. Getting circumcised: is that a gospel issue or not? Well according to Paul it wasn’t a gospel issue so, in Acts 16:1-3, he had Timothy circumcised in order to bring Timothy with him on his missionary journey.
But it was a completely different story with the Galatian church. There Paul stood his ground and refused to get Titus circumcised (Galatians 2:1-5). He even condemned anyone who felt the necessity to get circumcised (Galatians 5:2).
So is getting circumcised a gospel issue or not? There’s no simple answer. It partly depends on the reasons why it has become a problem.
2. We don’t have the skills to fight well.
We are often told to pick our battles but we aren’t often told how to fight those battles once we’ve picked them.
Think about why the US withdrew from the Vietnam war. There were many factors that led to their withdrawal but one major factor was America did not know how to fight against their opponents. Even though the Vietcong were outmanned and outgunned, their guerrilla warfare allows them to out-strategise the western allies. They had a better idea how to fight the war.
It’s worth reading through the epistles to notice all the different church issues and conflicts Paul had to wrestle with. There was a vast array of problems and no single strategy to deal with them all. There was the Galatian response where Paul hit them hard—at other times he was gentle, wise, firm.
Different battles need different responses. This is not an easy thing to learn; it takes time and experience to gain the necessary wisdom and insight to know how to fight the different battles.
Once again, “pick your battles!” is sound advice but it isn’t enough. We also need to pick how we’ll fight that battle.
3. We forget the war within.
After all that has been said, probably the hardest battle is the unseen battle with our own heart. Paul reminds us our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the powers of darkness that operate behind the scene (Ephesians 6:12)—and often inside us. Sometimes, as Jesus points out, the problem isn’t with other people (or at least not just with them) but with us:
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matt 7:3-5 (NIV)
Often we should be looking at ourselves first—and that means a fight of a different kind.
We do need to be aware of other people’s sins—idolatry, pride, greed, and so on, but, as Jesus points out, we often should be looking at ourselves first—and that means a fight of a different kind.
Conclusion
Churches are sadly renowned for being battlegrounds, with many fighting over trivial things. Sure, pick your battles. But decide how you will fight those battles too. Proverbs has some good wartime advice:
For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers. (Prov 11:14, NIV)
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. (Prov 15:22, NIV)
Surely you need guidance to wage war, and victory is won through many advisers. (Prov 24:6, NIV)
Note the word “many”. One opinion is good but better still is many. Many advisors makes for a good battle plan.