In this article we speak to Danielle Treweek, whose The Meaning of Singleness has been shortlisted for Sparklit’s Australian Christian Book of the Year.
Jacob York: Congratulations on the nomination! How does someone get to writing a book on singleness?
Dani Treweek: For a long time I had felt the church was lacking in how it engages with its unmarried members, and how it thinks and teaches about the dignity and meaning of being unmarried as a Christian. As someone who has never been married myself and who has also served within the context of church ministry, I’ve seen firsthand the misconceptions and uncertainties surrounding singleness in the Christian life and community. I wanted to take the time to carefully work through what the Bible really has to say about this topic, in order to help both singles and churches navigate singleness with understanding, love and faithfulness. In the end, I decided to do a PhD. The Meaning of Singleness is the fruits of that deep dive.
Do you think this book is more needed today than in yesteryear?
It depends which yesteryear we’re talking about. In the early church, the unmarried life became idealised (perhaps even idolised) and the significance and beauty of marriage was diminished. But ever since the Reformation, the pendulum has swung very much in the opposite direction. In today’s evangelical church, marriage and parenthood sit on a pedestal. They are typically held out as the highest good and goal of the Christian life. This leaves us thinking of singleness as either a season of preparation before real life begins, a very rare exception for some specially empowered few, or a tragic reality. As God’s people we just don’t have a coherent and faithful biblical vision of singleness (and, if I’m being totally honest, of marriage either).
But to go back to your question, there is a sense in which it is becoming more and more important that we not let this state of affairs continue. When it comes to singleness, marriage, sex, love, relationships, community, friendship, identity, and so on, the world we live in is both very confused and very confusing. It’s easy for us Christians to have knee-jerk reactions without carefully considered biblical teaching. On the flipside, it’s also easy to find ourselves discipled by the world without even realising it is happening. My prayer is that The Meaning of Singleness will be one resource that helps us see the abundant life Jesus offers all of us, whether we’re single or married.
The Meaning of Singleness: Retrieving an Eschatological Vision for the Contemporary Church
Danielle Treweek
The Meaning of Singleness: Retrieving an Eschatological Vision for the Contemporary Church
Danielle Treweek
Is Christian singleness a burden to be endured or a God-ordained vocation? Might singleness here and now give the church a glimpse of God’s heavenly promises?
Drawing upon both ancient and contemporary theologians, including Augustine, Ælfric of Eynsham, John Paul II, and Stanley Hauerwas, Dani Treweek contends not only that singleness has served an important role throughout the church’s history, but that single Christians present the church with a foretaste of the eschatological reality that awaits all of God’s people. Far from being a burden, then, Christian singleness is among the highest vocations of the faith.
At a practical level, what might it look like for the church to recover a biblical vision for singleness? What are some ways singles might flourish in our church?
In one sense, it would mean that singleness is not front and centre in our churches. As members of the church, we aren’t primarily a husband or a wife, or not a husband or a wife. We are co-heirs of Christ. Children who have been adopted into the same household of God. Equally brothers and sisters. Understanding what it means for the church to be family means that singleness and marriage take a back seat to that magnificent reality that Jesus prayed for—that we would all be one (Jn 17:21).
But in another sense, it would mean that singleness is front and centre in our churches. A biblical vision for singleness is one that understands that God has given the unmarried life an important dignity and significance. One often overlooked aspect of this dignity is that those of us who are single now are forerunners of eternity. According to Jesus, in the new creation none of us will be husbands and wives—we’re all going to be “single” forever (Mt 22:23–33). Therefore, just as the church needs married Christians to point to the eternal marriage between Christ and his church, we also need single Christians to remind us that as resurrected men and women we won’t be husband and wives but brother and sisters in Christ.
And so a church in which singles flourish will be a church that welcomes the single person as a wonderfully “ordinary” member. This will mean they feel a deep sense of welcome and belonging in that community. That they know their singleness isn’t viewed as odd or problematic by others. But the same church will also be a place in which the single person is seen as a wonderfully “extraordinary” member. This will mean that they feel a deep sense of purpose and significance with that community. That they know their singleness is viewed as dignified and even necessary by others.
Can you unpack the tension between honouring marriage and singleness? Sometimes it can feel difficult to uphold both.
That’s so true. Our problem is we instinctively see singleness and marriage as a zero-sum game. For instance, I’ve heard some people assume that because The Meaning of Singleness is a book which offers a positive vision for singleness, it must be an “anti-marriage” book. It’s absolutely not! But for some reason we really just struggle with the idea that two opposite (but complementary) things can both be genuinely good at the same time. This is one of those areas in which we need to be willing to have our hearts and minds changed by God’s word. In God’s kingdom, marriage and singleness do not compete: they complement one another.
How might The Meaning of Singleness help as we navigate and respond to sexual ethics commentary in and outside the church today?
I set out to write a book (and PhD) about singleness and ended up spending a lot more time, energy and words writing about marriage and sex than I anticipated. In hindsight, that makes complete sense. You see, we can’t think biblically about singleness without also thinking biblically about marriage and sex as well. It would be insane for me to try and summarise that research here. Suffice to say, I’m convinced that if we are to recover a biblically faithful and renewed vision for singleness, then we’ll also be helping confirm and esteem a biblically faithful and renewed vision for sex as well. In fact, I think single Christians have a lot to teach married Christians about the importance of sex. How’s that for a teaser?
How are Australian churches going on this issue? What are the encouragements and areas for growth?
The Australian Christian landscape is very diverse. Speaking from my anecdotal experience, I find myself both encouraged but also cautious about our broad trajectory.
I’m encouraged because I do feel we’re having more and more biblically informed conversations about singleness. And I do sense that many of our churches are becoming increasingly aware of how they have failed to show the welcome and love of Christ to those who are not married (or no longer married) in both their church families and the broader communities. I’m optimistic things are moving in a good direction.
But, for a couple of reasons, I’m also feeling a little cautious about the future. For example, I direct a ministry called Single Minded, which develops biblical resources about singleness (and adjacent topics) for all people in the church. We’ve got a wonderfully engaged community, but the vast majority of them are single. We’ve found it disappointingly difficult to get sustained or substantial buy-in from married Christians and church leaders. And many of our single community members tell us they have had the same experience as they’ve tried to promote our events and resources amongst their friends and within their church communities. So churches understanding that this topic is important for all of us (rather than something we delegate to those who are single) is a definite area for growth.
I’m also cautious because I’ve seen how strong our knee-jerk reactions and commitment to a zero-sum game can be. In other parts of the evangelical world, renewed healthy conversations about singleness are being derailed by Christians (especially leaders) who are doubling down on marriage as “the” goal of the Christian life. Too many key people see any suggestion that we need to honour singleness as an attack on marriage itself. And once that narrative gains momentum it very easily steamrolls everything in its path. Thankfully I don’t think this narrative has unstoppable momentum here in Australia just yet. But it’s coming for us and so it’s really important that we be proactive about ditching this whole zero-sum game mentality that we spoke about earlier.
Who is The Meaning of Singleness for?
Because The Meaning of Singleness is the fruit of my doctoral research, it’s not a lightweight book. But it’s also not a ridiculously dense academic read either. It’s for any Christian person (and especially Christian leader) who wants to do some deeper theological, biblical, historical, and pastoral thinking about the place and purpose of singleness in God’s plans. It’s also a book of four quite distinct parts which makes it a bit easier to dip in and out. I’m also currently working on a popular level book due for publication with The Good Book Company in late 2025. It will be a book primarily about singleness, but for everyone.
