Parenting in God’s Family: Biblical Wisdom for Everyday Issues, edited by Harriet Connor, offers sage insight for Christian parenting. For me, parenting felt intense right out of the gate. Many people have strong opinions about how feeding, sleeping, working, and general parenting should be done. In those early post-partum days, I found it difficult to know who to trust for advice, particularly when it seemed like everyone I talked to had different and often opposing convictions. Parenting in God’s Family was a very welcome resource. Connor brings together a collection of essays based on evangelical convictions which answer so many integral parenting questions. I am so grateful for the wisdom and knowledge of these authors who have walked the path of parenting before me.
Navigating Parenting
The chapters can be read sequentially, or chapters of interest can be read as standalone units. The book will generate great discussions with your spouse. It’s worth beginning with the foundational two chapters before moving on to anything else. These initial chapters will help you to understand the editor’s convictions, why she put the book together, and some useful notes on basic styles and stages of parenting.
Parenting is joyous, magical, tiresome, boring, impossibly stressful and complicated. When parenting as a Christian, the weight is made lighter by God’s wisdom and strength, and by the support of the body of Christ. With the big picture of eternity in view, we can rely on our Lord and our brothers and sisters who share our faith in him for support and direction.
Parenting in God’s Family is a Christian support that fathers and mothers can lean on as they seek to care for and guide their children—in line with God’s word—towards emotional, spiritual and physical health and maturity.
There are five further sections: ‘Receiving children as gifts and reflecting God’s fatherly love’, which covers pregnancy, big emotions in the early years, and the importance of Fathers. ‘Giving children an apprenticeship in life’, which looks at discipline, sibling relationships, schooling, sexuality, and gender identity. ‘Giving children an apprenticeship in faith’, discussing discipleship, Bible reading and prayer, intentional rhythms, prioritising church, teenagers, and technology. ‘Acknowledging our human limitations’, a very welcomed section on grace for ourselves, and resting in God. And the final section, ‘What if…’ which considers the following questions: 1) What if my spouse is not a Christian?, 2) What if I am a single parent?, and 3) What if I have a child with special needs?
What I Love
The chapters are all short and to the point. And where a chapter that piqued my interest was too short for my liking, Connor has included further resources by the chapter author that I could go to for further reading. Most of the authors have published their own longer works on the topic they cover in this volume.
Some authors present their content confidently, boldly yet graciously making a case for the importance of their point of view (i.e. sexuality). Other chapters cover a range of different options (i.e. schooling) and weigh up generic pros and cons of each. The tone of each chapter is respectful and Biblical as each author shares their own personal experience, urging us to consider how being a Christian shapes every part our lives. I found the difference in communication styles helpful. I tend to prefer straight down the line, confident advice, backed by God’s Word, experience, and research. But parenting, especially as a Christian, is such a complex topic that it was nice to see variation in communication styles because it helped me think differently about Christian parenting.
I really appreciated Wendy Lin’s contributions in chapters 11-13. She encourages readers to set big picture goals to focus on your priorities as parents, and considers these four specific goals for your children:
- To grow in the knowledge and love of God
- To mature in godliness
- To develop a lifetime habit of Bible reading, prayer and gathering with God’s people
- To rejoice in service and the growth of God’s kingdom. (p. 72)
She then goes through each goal and unpacks different ideas, questions, and Scriptures to help reader’s think through how they might press on towards seeing change as these goals achieved for their children. Change only comes through the Spirit at work in our (and our children’s) lives, as we also strive to teach them what it means to live like Jesus (p. 75).
A Blessing Regardless
Unsurprisingly, I didn’t agree with every perspective offered. There were times I was unconvinced by a suggestion or a parenting choice. I was also surprised by the omission of a couple of things that I expected to be included. It would have been nice, for example, in the chapter on caring for ourselves, to consider God’s gift of the Sabbath and how that can impact our wellbeing and our parenting.
It turns out I already have some deeply held convictions about raising children! Don’t we all! I did find that even the parts of this book I didn’t agree with served me well, as they sparked a lot of thinking, and then further conversations with my village around me.
I highly recommend reading Parenting in God’s Family in partnership, either with your spouse, friends, or with some other parents in your church. Enough foundational content is provided on each topic to help you consider how you will raise your children and lead your family under the Lord Jesus. Readers who intentionally stop and think about how you will lead under Jesus will be blessed. This book has been such a blessing to my own family, sparking conversations with my husband about being intentional, both now and in the future, about the faith development of our children. How often do you take the time with your spouse to sit and discuss the discipleship of your children? Far too often I find myself running on auto pilot, going through life failing to consider the who, the how, the what, or the why of Christian parenting. Picking up this book is a step towards clarifying the purpose for what you are doing as a Christian parent. I pray that it is as useful a book to you as it was to me.
