When I let my thirteen-year-old son know that I finished watching the Netflix series Adolescence he responded by saying ‘Don’t worry Mum, I’m not going to murder anyone.
To which I replied, ‘Well, it’s not really about that…’
Adolescence is a four-episode series created by Jack Thorne and Stephen Graham, and directed by Philip Barantini. It tells the story of thirteen-year-old Jamie, who is accused of killing his classmate Katie. The series paints a disturbing picture of young people and the struggles they face growing up in today’s world. They are digital natives, disengaged from authority figures, who regard online life as more significant than the rest of life. The adults in Adolescence can’t keep up with their kids, they struggle to connect with them while trying to juggle work and family responsibilities. Some of the themes explored are friendship, romance, social media, peer pressure, bullying, sexting, masculinity, family, growing up, what is ‘normal’ behaviour, inequality, the justice system—to name many of the major ones.
Good TV
First up, the production is very impressive. The acting is exceptional, as is the way each episode is shot in one continuous take. The storytelling and dialogue are on point. There are occasional moments of lightness—the exchange between the policeman and his son about grabbing hot chips was beautiful, as was Jamie’s mum recounting how she first met the dad at a dance, complete with A-ha’s ‘Take on Me’ playing in background—but overall, it is uncomfortable and disturbing viewing. Episode 3, consisting almost entirely of a conversation between Jamie and psychologist, is jaw-droppingly brilliant. Little wonder it has broken records for the most-watched series in 2025.
A Wake-Up Call
But more than just being good TV, Adolescence is a wake-up call to parents, educators and anyone who is concerned about ‘kids these days’. It warns parents against assuming that just because your kids are at home, they are safe. What they are consuming online can have far-reaching ripple effects.[1] In the case of Jamie, he was searching for acceptance and meaning, but unfortunately found himself getting ‘answers’ from toxic, misogynistic online sites, which in turn gave him a very warped view on male–female relationships. In episode 4, Jamie’s parents ask hard questions of themselves about whether they could have prevented what happened:
“Should we have done more, though?”
“I think it’d be good if we accepted that maybe we should’ve done. I think it’d be okay for us to think that.”
It’s heart-breaking viewing. Just because your kids are at home, doesn’t mean they are safe.
What do we do with the dangers the series awakens us to? What can we say as we talk to others? Here are a few thoughts.
First, if you are a parent, ensure that you are available and present in your kids’ lives. You want them to know in their bones that they are loved unconditionally. No matter what. Show them how to treat others—with gentleness and respect. You have more influence on them than the series suggests.
Second, work on your issues and godliness. It was obviously a deliberate choice by the producers to make Jamie’s family remarkably ‘normal’, to frame them as relatable, to send the message that this could happen to anyone. However, we also learn that Jamie’s dad is carrying unresolved shame over how his own father treated him, which occasionally erupts in explosive anger. Make it a priority to deal with your own personal issues and past hurts so you don’t pass them on to your kids.
Third, nurture healthy in-person activities with family and friends. This is something which Jamie’s parents struggled to do—they just left him alone in his room with his computer. Show an interest in their interests. Try to enter their world with an attitude of curiosity and not judgement. Get to know their friends. Aim to make your home a place where your kids’ friends feel comfortable and safe.
Fourth, we need to monitor screen time and social media usage, and keep communication lines open. There’s no need to be terrified of it, but we shouldn’t be naïve about how insidious the algorithm can be. There are some truly evil influences online, so don’t assume that anything that ‘all the kids’ are watching or playing is benign. Set boundaries and teach your kids the value of accountability. You are the parent and God has tasked you with the responsibility and privilege of raising this adolescent.
Finally, pray daily for your teens. Pray for their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health and growth. Also pray for and support other parents of teens. It’s a tough gig!
There are many things I wish had been different in the world of Adolescence. I wish that Jamie’s family had known the loving Creator God who created all people in his image and bestows on us infinite worth. I wish Jamie’s Dad had received the forgiveness, grace and healing that comes through trusting in Christ’s death on his behalf. Most of alI, I wish that Jamie had had the chance to encounter Jesus, the perfect example of what it means to be a good man. And more than that, the only one who can forgive us our trespasses and deliver us from evil.
I do hope that by God’s grace, we can raise a generation of young people who are better equipped than those in the TV series, to navigate the challenges and seize the opportunities that growing up in the twenty-first century presents. My thirteen-year-old son included.
[1] Although many have observed that statistically Jamie’s extreme behaviour is very unlikely considering his circumstances.
