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Hungry. That’s how I spent my first decade as a Christian. I read verses about the deep, soul satisfaction found in God—but somehow I couldn’t seem to find it anywhere.

I read verses about the deep, soul satisfaction found in God—but somehow I couldn’t seem to find it anywhere.

I was forever on the hunt, placing my hope in any new possibilities that arose. I knew that my walk with God was missing something—something critical. What was it? A special anointing from the Holy Spirit? Was I really born again? Some people told me that I wasn’t. I drove far and wide to meet with people who claimed to be able to impart this missing piece of the puzzle, pinning my hopes on their touch. I felt a buzz for a time. But it didn’t last.

What if I could spend more time in an elevated state of worship? Surely I just needed the right song, the right lighting, the right atmosphere. But, again, this feeling wouldn’t last far beyond the cheering.

Then I thought: more Bible, that’s it. If I read the Bible in a year I’ll be right. But readings started to feel like a chore by the time I got to Leviticus, leaving a long line of empty boxes after Deuteronomy.

A Realisation

I found the answer through a vacuum. But not just any vacuum—it was brand new and cordless. My old one had been a nightmare. If I pulled it too hard the power cord came out, so I was forever walking back to plug it in with gritted teeth. When I eventually came out of the baby haze of having my first child, deciding it was time to start cleaning again, I convinced my husband it had to go. I still remember the first time I used the new vacuum. With my son in a baby carrier, I did the whole house in half the time it normally took. I was so excited. I couldn’t wait to see my friends and tell them about my new vacuum.

Then it hit me: this was how I was meant to feel about Jesus. The good news about my new appliance was just bubbling out of me—I was thinking ahead about when I would next see someone so I could have the joy of telling them about it.

Truly, good news does exactly this: we want to spontaneously and joyfully share it, no scripting or prompting required.

Truly, good news does exactly this: we want to spontaneously and joyfully share it, no scripting or prompting required.

This realisation set me on a course that changed my life. A book about discipleship fell into my lap. It blew me away. The author talked passionately about how what Jesus did, is doing and is yet to do has the power to change our lives today. I’d gone to church since I could remember but this was new information to me. Up until then, I had believed that the gospel was a truth to be believed to get me a ticket to heaven. If I accepted it as true, I was in the waiting line for my heavenly home and it was game-over gospel. It was no longer relevant to my life unless I wanted to “win a soul.”

How wrong I was. How foolish I was, to be chasing after a satisfaction for my soul that was under my nose the whole time. The gospel: the depths of the riches of all that has been won and achieved by the life, death and resurrection of Christ was the fuel I needed.

Now I am learning to preach the gospel to my heart—boldly, regularly. I have come to see that, despite all that Jesus has done, my mind has a tendency to return to putting its faith, hope and love in the things of this world. And when that happens, the results are messy: anger, jealousy, gossip, ego-stroking (thinly veiled under acts of “Christian kindness”).

Of course, this discovery about the gospel’s power for this life is something I should have known already. Paul makes it very clear. In Titus 3, for example—he immediately follows up a beautiful description of grace…

For we too were once foolish, disobedient, deceived, enslaved by various passions and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, detesting one another.

But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us—not by works of righteousness that we had done, but according to His mercy, through the washing of regeneration and renewal by the Holy Spirit. He poured out this Spirit on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that having been justified by His grace, we may become heirs with the hope of eternal life. (Titus 3:3-7)

… with an exhortation to a new kind of living …

This saying is trustworthy. I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed God might be careful to devote themselves to good works. These are good and profitable for everyone. (Titus 3:8)

The idea that wherever I am, whatever I am doing, I can pause to preach the gospel to my heart seems too simple. But it has changed my life.

For Paul, the life of obedience to Christ comes from a deep, life changing appreciation of the gospel: of the gruesome depths of human wickedness and the glorious heights of our divine rescue. Only the gospel provides the key to start our new life in Christ and all the fuel needed to live it out daily.

Like I said, this answer has surprised me profoundly. The idea that wherever I am, whatever I am doing, I can pause to preach the gospel to my heart, reminding myself to put my faith, hope and love firmly back where they belong, seems too simple.

But it has changed my life.

I am sad, and somewhat embarrassed, to admit that it took me so long to get this central Biblical truth. But I am not ashamed to share my story with others, in the hope that it will be a heartfelt reminder of the importance of developing this habit as we follow Christ together.

Preach to Yourself

Do you have fears? Recurring patterns of sin? A hunger for more of God?

Preach the gospel to your heart. Take the sword of the spirit and smash those idols that have been deceiving you. Let the gospel stir in you a deep passion for the only one who will satisfy your soul, and for righteousness. Let it gift you with the stillness of peace, only felt in the heart that is assured of a heavenly home beyond wildest imaginations, taking in the fullness of the glory of God for all eternity.

Preach it to your friends’ hearts too. Love them enough to ask the difficult questions, exposing their idols and replacing them with the only truth that will satisfy their souls.

You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

John 8:32

 

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