How to Move Church Well

In the wake of COVID, many of us are moving churches—there are doubtless lots of reasons for it. But if we are thinking of moving, how can we move church well?

Here are some tips.

The First Question: Do I Need to Move at all?

There are certainly good reasons to move church, ranging from the acute (it no longer preaches the gospel; it’s abusive) to the normal (I’m moving interstate; I’ve reached a new stage of life, etc).

But there are also some not-so-good reasons to move church: I’m not making friends quite as fast as I’d like; I like most parts of church but not all; the service is not at exactly the right time for me, etc.

I think our default position should be to stay unless we really need to go.

For what it’s worth, I think our default position should be to stay unless we really need to go. Writing to some Corinthians wanting to make a change in other areas of life, Paul advises that, all other things being equal, they should stay as they are: ‘each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.’ (1 Cor 7:20)

The overall context for Paul’s advice here is that ‘the time is short’ (7:29)—i.e. there is limited time for gospel ministry. Perhaps this is why he says what he does about staying put: making changes necessarily diverts time and energy away from ministry, so we should make as few changes as possible. If that’s correct, the principle would apply to church membership too—we should stay in our current church unless there’s a good reason to leave.

What if I Do Leave?

But it’s still OK to leave, and there are good reasons to leave. So how do you do that well?

1. Talk to your pastor about it first

Don’t wait until your mind is made up and then just inform them you’re going. Tell them of your thinking—and, if relevant, your concerns. Give them a chance to respond. Hopefully, your pastor cares for you, and will want to know your thoughts before you make a decision. If you have concerns, he may also have good answers which will make you want to stay.

Of course, if your pastor is the reason you’re leaving, this step may not be appropriate. But talk to someone at church before making your decision. This will mean at least someone knows you’re going, and will be able to act on your concerns once you’re gone.

2. If you do decide to leave, tell your pastor, rather than just vanish.

Some people ‘quiet-quit’ church: they ‘ghost’ their pastors and the church members who try to follow them up later.

Mostly, they do it because it’s easier, and because they don’t like conflict. But most pastors are more understanding than this. Be brave, and tell them before going. The conversation will probably go better than you expect!

3. Once you’ve left your current church, find a new church, quickly

This is a very common problem. I met a couple once who spent a whole year looking for a new church, visiting a new one each week! This is not the way to do it. Rather, you should find a new church quickly.

What should you look for in a new church? Here are my top three things:

1. Does it believe and preach the gospel? This is a non-negotiable. Part of this is finding a church that doesn’t just believe the gospel on paper but actually lets it shape its priorities. That is, if a church says it believes the gospel, but is in reality more about secondary issue hobby-horses, give it a miss.
2. Are there chances for me to serve? Not ‘Are there chances for me to be served? Will this church meet my needs?’ etc. Churches are lifeboats, not cruise ships, so we should look for ones where we can use our gifts to fish people out of the water and help our crewmates, not ones with nice deckchairs.
3. Is it ‘basically viable’ for me? Having said that, a church still has to be ‘basically viable’ for you. For example, if you have loads of kids, and a prospective church has nothing for kids, it’s OK to look for a church that does. And so on. Be careful not to push this too hard (see above), but it’s still okay to avoid situations that will create extra burdens and make it harder to serve.

How Long Should I Try it?

Your consistency will make your ministry very effective.

How much time should I give a church? Here’s one way to approach it:

• Go for one week. If it’s terrible, don’t go back. But if it’s okay, go to the next step, which is …
• Go for a month. Commit to going for the rest of the month. It usually takes a while to get a sense of a place, so you will need to give it a bit of time before moving to the next step. If it’s not good (maybe the first, good week was a fluke!) then move on—you’ve only lost a month. But if it’s still looking good, then …
• Go for a year. This will give you a chance to get onto a ministry team to serve; to join a small group and get to know people, etc. By the end of this year, you may still decide to leave, but this will be much less likely. Going for a year is like a sunset clause you give yourself in case something terrible happens. Otherwise, your assumption is that you will …
• Stay indefinitely. Unless there’s some good reason to go (you move, something else happens), stay at that church indefinitely. Your consistency will make your ministry very effective. And you will make amazing friends—the kinds of friends more transient people long to have, but never can. Stay indefinitely.

Summing Up

In summary: how to move church well?

1. Ask if you really need to.
2. Talk to your pastor (or someone) about it first.
3. Tell your pastor (or someone) if you do decide to move.
4. Find another, good church quickly.
5. Stay indefinitely.