We live in an age where it seems nearly impossible to separate an idea from the individual who holds it; to disagree with what someone says or does is taken as disapproval of who they are. An attack on their very identity. And so it has become controversial to uphold the biblical ideal that marriage should only be between one man and one woman. How could one possibly be loving and welcoming of all minorities with such a view? How could you possibly think you are pastorally caring for people with such a message? Some Christians are moving away from the biblical view of marriage because they don’t think it is possible to be welcoming but not affirming of those who practice otherwise. Surely, it is impossible for people to come to Christ if we preach a message of repentance and faith, instead of a message of unconditional welcome and acceptance.
I want to argue that it is not impossible. Welcoming but not affirming is indeed a legitimate, biblical, God-honouring, and even people-loving approach to the most pastorally difficult and sensitive issue of the day. I fully acknowledge that there are many complex and important matters of words and actions, personal sensitivity and communal patterns that require attention if we are to be meaningfully and consistently welcoming (while not affirming). In this article, however, I want to remind us again of the theoretical, spiritual foundation: that it is both possible and good.
We can be welcoming but not affirming, because that is exactly how Christ is with us:
Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28–30)
Jesus Says “Come to Me”
Firstly, our Lord Jesus stands with open arms to all who would receive him in faith. And he says, “Come as you are.” You need not clean up your life first. You need not be sinless to be welcomed. You need not be self-sufficient. Indeed, you must not. Every single one of us comes to Jesus in desperate need for healing and forgiveness. There is nothing that we can bring, except the empty hands of faith to receive a righteousness that is not our own, but Christ’s. And it is in that state that he welcomes us. “While we were still enemies, Christ died for the ungodly.” So welcoming but not affirming says, “Come as you are!” Are you weary and heavy laden with sin and shame? Come to Jesus! Come as you are! None are excluded. All are indeed welcome.
Jesus’ Yoke
But we must not forget what comes next: “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me.” This yoke Jesus speaks of is not the yellow bit of an egg. A yoke is the beam which was laid on top of two oxen to keep them pulling the plough together at the same pace and in the right direction. Sounds heavy and hard, doesn’t it? But Jesus, I’m weary and already burdened! How could you expect me to bear such a load? I thought I could come as I am? Indeed you can, but Jesus does not hide his agenda. While we come to Jesus as we are, we do not stay as we are. He does not affirm the sins in us for which he died. We take his yoke upon us so that we would grow in holiness and become like him and live faithful lives of obedience that reflect the glorious salvation that he has won for us. Jesus is clear, repentance and faith go hand in hand.
Rest for Our Souls
People can go and find welcome and acceptance in any number of communities without giving up that which they deeply desire. Why come to Jesus if he is welcoming but not affirming? Because in him we actually find rest for our souls. Jesus says, “I am gentle and lowly in heart… my yoke is easy… my burden is light.” Welcoming but not affirming is too often made out to be like we are calling people to give up their very lives. And in one sense that is true. But in reality we are calling people to come and find life. True life. The kind of life that brings peace and rest to our very souls. Like coming home after a long and tiring trip away. And it only comes through taking on Jesus’ yoke.
Welcoming but not affirming on the surface sounds idealistic and impossible. But when we see that it is exactly what our Lord Jesus has done for us, how could we possibly do anything else? Faith and repentance, hand in hand, brings life and joy to even the most hardened sinner, because Jesus indeed is life himself.
Welcome Others Just As Christ Has Welcomed You
Christians: love people deeply. Get to know them. Refrain from insisting that they need to take on Jesus’ yoke before they’ve come to him. Show them the kindness of God in word and in deed. Show them how compelling is the true life that you have in Christ.
But pastors, please don’t stop preaching the truth of Scripture. Hold out the word of life to those in your congregation, both newcomers and regulars. Hold out Jesus, the gentle and lowly one in whom are pleasures to be found forevermore. Teach people faithfully that Jesus’ yoke is actually what is best for them.
