It started with one of our neighbourhood boys saying to my kids, “Ukraine is in trouble”.
Before my daughter Lucy (7) heard this, bombs and cannons were toys you played with. Now it involved real people. For her, this led to lots of questions, and for my wife and I, lots of decisions on how to explain a very difficult topic.
Our young children are trying to process things they don’t understand; our older children are trying to grapple with horrors they (unfortunately) can.
As we are trying to stomach the information ourselves, our young children are trying to process things they don’t understand and our older children are trying to grapple with horrors they (unfortunately) can.
Getting ahead on this topic with our children is the best case scenario, but even if we haven’t, how can we talk to them about war in a way that will be helpful? More importantly, how can we help our children understand how the God of peace is involved and working in the midst of this?
Here are some brief and practical steps to consider:
1. Pray
These are not easy conversations to have with our children. Ask God to work through you and in your children as you begin a discussion.
2. Let them ask questions
Oftentimes, we won’t know what our kids think until they ask us what they don’t know. We don’t always have to have the answer, but inviting their questions reminds them you’re a safe person to talk to.
3. Ask them questions
Maybe you haven’t had a conversation yet, but you know they know. This is a great gospel opportunity to talk to your kids about this moment they are living in. Simple questions like, “What do you think about…” or, “How does that make you feel?”, can give you great insights into what they are thinking and help guide your prayers.
4. Look at the map together
Many of us don’t know where Ukraine is, or its surrounding countries. It’s a good opportunity to give our kids a visual lesson and to pray for the surrounding area. (Do you know where Moldova is? I didn’t!).
5. Share information with discernment
This particular conflict is filled with many gruesome details and images. Kids don’t need to know (or see) everything to understand the gravity of war. Consider what it looks like to provide them with helpful, age-appropriate information without over-sharing.
6. Keep your prayers updated
Use what you’re hearing and seeing to plead with your family to the Lord.
There is a lot of news out there, and it can be hard to make sense of it all. In the age of social media, we can even see the world through the eyes of everyday people sharing their lived experience. Use what you’re hearing and seeing to plead with your family to the Lord for his peace, power, protection and provision for those who are impacted.
7. Consider getting involved
Your church may be offering some ways to give financially, or partner with organisations who can help with relief on the ground. These seemingly insufficient responses could be an action for your family to consider and turn into an important discipleship moment.
8. Point to God’s word for truth
- Wars begin because of injustice in our hearts – James 4:1-2
- Jesus came to earth for peace and has overcome the world – John:16:33
- God desires for all people to seek peace – Psalm 34:11-14
- We can call upon God’s protection for His people – Isaiah – 41:10
- We can trust God with our fears – 1 Peter 5:7
- We can trust God’s plan – Romans 8:28
- Consider how we can love and pray for our enemies – Luke 6:27-28
9. Use the gospel as your guide
Jesus came with a promise to end all wars forever. Unpacking Jesus’ death can help our children see these atrocities with a gospel centred lens and find hope. Here are some prompts:
- The cross brings justice – 1 John 2:2
- The cross offers peace – Ephesians 2:4-5
- The cross gives us the road to hope – Romans 8:24-25
10. Pray some more
This may not be the first, or the last conversation you’ll have with your children about this topic. Inviting them to pray with you will continue to re-inforce they have a safe space to talk and ask their questions.
Inviting them to pray with you will continue to re-inforce they have a safe space to talk and ask their questions.
In our heartbreak over the constant stream of news, the moments we’re having with our children are already bearing fruit. When I asked my daughter how we could pray for people in the Ukraine her response was, “we need to pray for more pray-ers”.
After hearing these words and seeing the images of Ukraine Christians praying in the square in the middle of Kyiv, I’m convinced even more that families can, and will have a real impact when we enter into these conversations together.
Why don’t we pray right now?
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Amen.
