I was eight when my grandmother was asked which grandchild was her favourite. I probably wasn’t supposed to be listening, but I was, and I distinctly remember her answer which related to a sweet face and beautiful blonde curls. Let’s just say it wasn’t me. Although I am over it now, I remember feeling a pit in my stomach. Like I was worth less than the child my grandmother had deemed her favourite.
Showing favouritism towards one person over another isn’t a recent phenomenon. As Ecclesiastes tells us, “there is nothing new under the sun.” (Eccl 1:9) The story of Joseph is perhaps the clearest biblical example, as we see favouritism leading to arrogance, jealousy, conflict, hatred, and betrayal.
It’s not just grandmothers who struggle with choosing favourites. Kids do too. They constantly talk about their favourite food. Favourite game. Favourite movie. And there’s nothing wrong with playing favourites like this—“unless we play favourites with people.”
The Big Wide Welcome
Trillia J. Newbell
Jesus knows that everyone needs him to rescue them from their sin, and he welcomes anyone who is sorry and asks to be his friend. In this book, children will learn that Christians and churches are called to be like Jesus: to give a big, wide welcome to all kinds of people so that they can hear the good news for themselves.
How can we teach our children not to play favourites? More specifically, since favouritism stems from our hearts, not just external actions, how do we teach our children to show genuine care and love towards others?
One way is to have healthy discussions about why we should love others, and books can be a helpful springboard. The Big Wide Welcome is the latest title in the “Tales that Tell the Truth” series. It uses a passage from James to show the importance of showing love and the consequences of favouritism.
People Play Favourites
The Big Wide Welcome invites us to consider a rich man versus a poor man entering a church. Using the colourful and engaging format associated with this well-written series, this part of the book is noticeably wordless, as we look at the pictures to see the story unfold.
When a rich man enters the church, he’s honoured. People are doing all they can to welcome him—placing him in the front seat; bringing him choice drinks. The congregation is happy and excited to have such an important person in their midst.
As we turn the page, we see a shabby man in rags and bare feet at the entrance to the church. No one gets up to welcome him. No one smiles or says hello. They even cover their noses and tell him to leave. On his face is what is in his heart—a picture of deep rejection and sadness. Instead of feeling welcomed and accepted, he leaves pained and hurt.
Jesus Welcomes
What’s wrong with this picture? Why shouldn’t we treat some people better than others?
The answer is Jesus. The Son of God walked and talked with anyone and everyone. He ate with sinners, spoke to prostitutes, cared for the needy, welcomed outcasts, and had compassion for those with physical ailments. As people who love Jesus and want to follow him obediently, we should follow in his footsteps, showing others the same sacrificial love he has for us.
It can be easy to come up with all sorts of reasons to show or not show someone a “big wide welcome.” The public response to Grace Tame and Scott Morrison, for example, suggests icy glares are sometimes justifiable.
But The Big Wide Welcome doesn’t point us to secular thinking—it points us to Jesus. It points us to the gospel message, and how Jesus died so he could welcome us. Newbell puts it like this:
If you’re friends with Jesus, be like Jesus. Jesus doesn’t want you to play favourites with people. He wants you to love people like he loves people.
The Big Wide Welcome doesn’t point us to secular thinking—it points us to Jesus.
Jesus’ forgiveness isn’t limited to certain people. Regardless of our status or sin, our culture or circumstances, Jesus is willing to forgive anyone who repents. The Big Wide Welcome shows how when we play favourites, we work against the gospel message we say we believe. We can’t just say everyone’s welcome—we have to show it too. (Jas 2:15-16)
We have been touched by God’s love and welcomed into God’s heavenly kingdom through Jesus’ sacrifice. So, “don’t play favourites; choose to love.”
