As I dig deeper into the New Testament, I’m amazed at how present women were throughout Jesus’ life and ministry and in the years of the early church—radical, considering the cultural context of the ancient world. Women not only supported Jesus’ ministry but followed him as disciples. As Dorothy Sayers once aptly observed, women are also shown to be first at the cradle and last at the cross.
Even more radically, and despite being considered unreliable witnesses in the first century, women were the first to be entrusted with the news of Jesus’ resurrection. Christianity’s positioning of women as key figures in the gospel narrative (Mary Magdalene, Salome, Mary the mother of James) and in the early church (Priscilla, Junia, Phoebe, Lydia, Persis, and more) set an unusual precedent in contrast to contemporary Roman and Greek culture. The Book of Acts and various New Testament letters present a compelling and attractive picture of men and women working together in a countercultural way.
Whatever you or your church’s convictions about complementarianism or egalitarianism, it is clear that Jesus treated women in a revolutionary way, and so did the early Christians. Can we always say the same of the modern church? New data reveals that in a reversal of recent historical trends in America, women now outnumber men among the young adults leaving religion. Sixty-five percent of young American women believe that churches do not treat men and women equally.
While the reasons for this are of course complex and multifaceted, and our attitudes and feelings about church are shaped by cultural narratives as well as personal experiences, it’s important to acknowledge that at times, our modern churches have reflected more of the surrounding cultures among which Christianity first arose than the relationships on display in the New Testament gospels and letters.
Abuses of complementarian theology have disillusioned many, but, as always, the example of Jesus and the vision of male–female ministry we see reflected in the New Testament can pave the way to making church a place where women are cherished, esteemed, discipled, and valued for their contributions.
To this end, I want to suggest six specific ways that ministry workers can better care for women in their congregations, with particular reference to Graham Beynon and Jane Tooher’s excellent book Embracing Complementarianism, which provides some challenging and mature insights on this subject.
Spend Time with Both Sexes
This one might sound obvious, but many male pastors and ministry workers naturally feel most comfortable speaking with other men. To a certain extent, this is a default mode for both sexes; in social situations, people often intuitively self-sort into single-sex conversations.
However, given that in complementarian churches most employed staff are male, this tendency can contribute to a problematic pattern where men are discipled, rebuked, mentored, and encouraged, but women, despite constituting a majority, remain on the fringes. It’s helpful to be aware of our default settings and the types of conversations we are more naturally drawn toward.
It also pays to be mindful of the three ghosts that haunt most churches. As Jen Wilkin urges, beware of treating women as usurpers/authority thieves, temptresses, or children. Christian women are your sisters in Christ, your co-workers and fellow heirs in Christ Jesus of the gift of life. Caution did not dictate how Jesus related to women (Jn 4:1–42), and it should not be a defining feature of male–female relationships in the church. As Wilkin helpfully notes: “If we consistently err on the side of caution, it’s worth noting that we consistently err.”
I’m encouraged by the example of my church’s senior pastor, who isn’t afraid to spend time with women in his congregation in a way that honours them as sisters. I’ve witnessed him warmly and comfortably interacting with women, sitting next to women in the service, and giving brotherly hugs to women in a public setting. On one occasion, I was sitting in a circle of female youth playing with modelling clay, and our senior pastor casually sat down, picked up some clay, and started making something while chatting amiably with the young women around him. It was wonderful to watch!
Speak to Women in Your Sermons
While too much can be made of this point, our use of language does matter. Language has the power to usher people closer or drive them away. Male pastors, when you preach a Sunday sermon, over sixty percent of your audience will be women. Watch out for the frequent use of sermon illustrations about sports, fishing, cars, or other more male-dominated activities or hobbies (though women can absolutely enjoy these, too). Much worse, avoid throwaway references to women nagging or shopping or spending your money and other common but unbiblical gender stereotypes. A gender-based joke may elicit a few chuckles, but such laughter is often cheap and risks wounding female members of the body of Christ.
Tap into Female Scholarship
Consider quoting female Bible scholars, researchers, and theologians in your sermons. I’ve lost track of the sermons I’ve sat through in which all the external references outside the Bible were from exclusively male authors, with no consideration of the wisdom offered by prominent and godly female scholars on the subject.
You might also consider inviting female expertise into the sermon itself. My church’s senior pastor has, in recent years, occasionally invited women up during his sermons to share their expertise and wisdom on particular topics. It’s been a blessing to me to see him humbly defer to specialists in different areas who are in turn empowered to share their knowledge with the body of Christ.
Clarify Your Church’s Stance on Women’s Ministry
Would your congregation be able to explain your church’s stance on key passages relating to biblical manhood and womanhood and justify that interpretation with reference to Scripture? Graham Beynon and Jane Tooher offer a helpful health check-up for churches in this area. Embracing Complementarianism contains questions at the end of each chapter to help church leaders unpack what they believe and communicate that to their flock. Take the time to develop (or clarify) convictions and applications of your own, grounded in God’s word.
Be wary of outsourcing your decisions to past interpretations or traditions (Beynon and Tooher, p. 114), or of making your decisions on the basis of pragmatics. And bring your flock with you, as Beynon and Tooher wisely put it:
We want to avoid simply telling people, “This is our position” or “We are doing it this way”, without showing them that this is what God’s word is actually saying. (p. 131)
They recommend putting together a position paper as a formal explanation of your church’s stance and how the leadership has arrived at their conclusions. It’s an excellent antidote to the tendency to be overly cautious and unnecessarily restrictive. It can also uncover inconsistencies in your application of complementarian theology.
Enthusiastically Involve Women in Ministry
Too often, discussions about the involvement of women in the church have been about what women can and cannot do—especially the latter. At times, women’s inclusion in some ministries has been framed more as a concession than an invitation. This is a missed opportunity. As Beynon and Tooher assert: “It’s not enough to just decide what you are happy to permit; you must pursue what you think is good!” (p. 138). Once you’ve decided on your church’s convictions on women’s roles, make it a point to pursue women’s involvement in all the areas where they can take part.
Don’t Relegate Women’s Ministry to Women
Women’s ministers are a common feature of the modern church, especially when a congregation’s size necessitates giving staff each a different area of focus. But delegating the discipleship of women to other women (or a women’s minister, if the church budget allows) is potentially a symptom of a church culture in which men minister almost exclusively to men and women to women. This is not the first-century vision of gospel ministry (Acts 18:18–28; Rom 16). Nor did such absolute divisions characterise the ministry of Jesus (Lk 8:1–3; 10:38–42). In the New Testament we are presented with a picture of numerous men and women working in partnership for the mutual advancement of the gospel.
If you’re almost entirely delegating the discipleship of women to other women, you’re missing out on the main emphasis of complementarianism. As Beynon and Tooher point out, complementarianism is a whole greater than the sum of its parts. It is largely achieved when men and women are working together, not in parallel ministries with different focuses. Single-sex ministries are important and valuable—to varying degrees depending on culture and context. Nevertheless, ministry is most effective (and fruitful) when men and women work together to shepherd the flock in their care. The essence of complementarianism is mutual ministry and encouragement.
There are other things that could be said, but I have shared these few to kickstart reflection and discussion. In Galatians 3:28, Paul teaches there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, only oneness in Jesus. This doesn’t negate unique, God-given roles or responsibilities; or remove all ethnic diversity; or level all socio-economic circumstances in this age. But it does invite us to glimpse the gospel at the heart of all our relationships and seek to reflect that as members of the body of Christ, to the praise of God’s glory and grace.
