There’s a way of looking back that’s filled with fatalism. Regret chides that there’s nothing to be done about my past, as Kid LAROI admits:
I did things that I knew were wrong
But time just keeps movin’ on
And no matter which way I run
I can’t go back to the way it was. (‘I Can’t Get Back to the Way It Was’)
You’ve just got to keep going. On ‘Baptised in Fear’, Canadian music artist The Weekend pictures himself drowning in the bath. Regrets fill up his head as water floods his lungs. He’s trapped. Past reflections stand nearby and laugh.
By contrast, some people put a cheeky spin on it. A trendy wannabe dive bar near my place advertises themselves as purveyors of ‘Beer, Food, Regrets’, with a smirk and a wink. A third approach is heard in those pop songs which acknowledge our guilty conscience, but then fortify us against it, turning remorse into a hot dancefloor anthem. ‘Don’t hide yourself in regret just love yourself and you’re set’ sings Lady Gaga on ‘Born This Way’.
Though from a very different time, ancient theologian Augustine of Hippo could certainly relate to the need to make sense of guilt and regret.
Augustine’s Regrets
As a mature believer Augustine carried many regrets. In AD 397, as a newly ordained bishop, he turned his massive mind and deep heart to confess to God his years outside of Christ. The value of the resulting work, Confessions, for both him and his readers, was that they might love God more. It’s not an easy project, but looking back strengthened his attachment to Christ:
I want to be mindful of the ugliness I engaged in back then…not because I’m in love with any of that, but rather, my God, for the purpose of loving you.
… I recollect the paths of my depravity … so that you may grow sweet to me.
This is not the fatalism of Kid LAROI and The Weekend. Nor does Augustine recount these events with a cheeky half-smile, like my neighbourhood wannbe dive bar. No! He looks back with genuine sorrow at how his selfish behaviour prevented him from loving the one and only God, and fragmented his life away from that single, true purpose.
Worldly Sorry and Godly Sorrow
The New Testament agrees with all of the above: there is a ‘worldly sorrow’ that leads to a dead end. Nothing good comes of it because worldly sorrow says nothing can be done about the past. In a welcome and refreshing twist, however, ‘godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret’ (2 Cor 7:10). Thankfully, there is a way to deal with regret that’s not just irreparably moving on: we can reflect on our failures with a view to understanding, and that understanding can lead to repentance and faith. God’s grace and full forgiveness frees us from all the wrong we’ve done and the guilt we carry. True, we may still be grieved by our past, perhaps more than ever, but we certainly don’t regret coming to a sweet, forgiving Father.
