Sexually explicit material has been around for millennia, but in the last 20 years the tsunami of pornography that has flooded our everyday lives has created a cultural phenomenon unprecedented in human history.
Before the mid 90s, if you were curious about porn you had to take the initiative to look for it and it was relatively hard to find, but with the introduction of the internet and later, mobile devices, the whole situation has been turned on its head. You no longer have to look for porn. The multi-billion dollar porn industry takes the initiative to look for you, and in two decades porn went from hard to find, to impossible to avoid.
In 2010 researchers at the University of Sydney conducted the first study of its kind, to investigate the porn viewing habits of average Australians. It found 70% of Australian men and 30% of Australian women regularly view porn, and nearly half of them have a daily habit of consuming it for between 30 minutes and 3 hours per day.
Now, I’d like to get all self-righteous and think that the stats relating to Christians are more impressive, but studies from outside of Australia show that this is simply not the case. For example, in the US, a 2014 Barna Group survey[1] revealed that 64% of self-identified Christian men admitted to viewing porn at least once a month, and 19% consumed porn daily. We have to face it; the pervasiveness of porn in our culture has affected followers of Christ just as much as everyone else, and like the rest of society, church leaders have been much too slow to address this issue.
Ignoring the problem has not made it go away and the result is a generation of Christians who have been exposed to and influenced by hardcore sexual content like never before. The devastation to marriages, norms of sexual behaviour, spiritual fervour and joy in the gospel is only some its rotten fruit, as the number of both men and women who feel trapped by compulsive porn use continues to grow.
Fortunately, many people—both religious and secular—are coming to realize the destructive nature of porn. The vast majority of news articles and scientific studies on this topic are not singing the praises of the porn industry. More often than not they are examining subjects like the way porn contributes to the divorce rate, the early sexualisation of our youth, the debate about whether porn is addictive, and the pressing need to protect our children from being exposed to it. Like the slow change of attitude towards cigarettes that happened through the 80s and 90s, we can only hope and pray that as further research comes to light, the attitude towards porn in popular culture will change as well.
Porn (like cigarettes) will never completely be gone and it is probable that our culture’s sexual saturation will get worse before it gets better. It is time for the Christian community to get over whatever awkwardness we might feel and address this issue head on. Armed with the gospel message of grace, as well as God’s life-giving vision for sexuality found in the Bible, we have no reason to feel embarrassed or ill-equipped.
There is much I could write about how we might tackle the issue of porn and equip people for the battle, but before we can look at things like practical strategies, there are some issues that first need to be dealt with in church culture.
First and foremost we need to start talking about it. Not only do pastors need to address it in their sermon applications, but bible study leaders need to encourage discussion about it, mentors need to include it in their topics of conversation, friends need to share how they are dealing with it, parents need to chat about it with their kids, couples need to talk about it openly and honestly both before and after they are married.
A struggle with porn is like mould – it grows best in the dark. As King David writes about unconfessed sin, “For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.” (Psalm 32:3). Hiding sin encourages secrecy and hypocrisy and breeds a sense of isolation. In too many churches we have a significant percentage of Christians all battling the same sexual sin, believing they are the only ones dealing with it and feeling like, if anyone knew, no one would understand. This should not be. We are not meant to battle our sin alone. In 1 Corinthians 12, the apostle Paul uses the beautiful analogy of a human body to describe the way that Christians need to look out for each other: “…God has so composed the body, giving greater honour to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together…” (1 Corinthians 12:24-26). The fact that porn is wreaking havoc in the lives of so many Christians is a problem for the entire church, and we all need to start addressing it.
The discussion starts with you. Who in your life knows how you deal with the onslaught of opportunities to view porn on the internet? Who would know if you were struggling? Who do you share your sin with? Also, just as importantly, are the sort of person that others would share their struggles with? Would your friends, or siblings, or children, or housemates, or spouse talk to you if they needed to? We need to foster honesty, trust and grace in our relationships so that this sort of real conversation is welcome. The church has for too long had the reputation of being silent about issues of sexual sin. It is time that we turn on the light and talk—honestly, unblushingly and without fear.
When a community is shaped by the gospel of grace, there should never be a fear of condemnation, rejection or public shaming. In fact, quite the opposite should be true. As in Jesus’ famous parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, honesty, confession and repentance should be celebrated, not shamed.
Christians are those who have come to God with nothing in our hands to offer but our sin. We have experienced first hand what it means to be welcomed out of isolation and shame, and into relationship with God. We should know the joy of those great words: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:1). Christ has taken all of the wrath and shame and rejection that our sin deserves, and by putting our trust in his sacrifice on our behalf, we stand before God forgiven and free from fear.
If that is our gospel message, then its truth should not only be enjoyed vertically, between us and God; it should also be lived out horizontally. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, and there should be no condemnation between those who are in Christ Jesus either.
Now, naturally you may have questions about how we respond to those who unrepentantly use porn, or those who downplay it as “ok in moderation.” They are valid questions, and I’d be happy to write more on those topics. But before we consider those who refuse to repent, let’s first make sure we aren’t putting any stumbling blocks in the way of those who want to.
Too often I meet Christians who are battling porn in isolation, on the brink of hopelessness. They aren’t being silent about their struggle simply because they don’t want to give it up. Many of them are afraid of the consequences of bringing their sin out into the light. The church should be the one place that sin be talked about openly and honestly and without fear. After all, acknowledging the fact that we are all sinners who need mercy is the most basic of requirements for being a Christian.
It is up to each one of us to help change the way the issue of pornography and other awkward and shame-inducing topics are dealt with. Start the ball rolling. Start talking, and let those conversations be honest, bold, and shaped by the gospel of grace.
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