This has always been the ache of the human heart, that God feels far away when we want him to be close:
Why, O LORD, do you stand far away?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? (Ps 10:1)
O God, be not far from me;
O my God, make haste to help me! (Ps 71:12)
The quick, snappy reply has often been, “If God feels far away, who moved?”, suggesting that any distance we feel from God is more about us, than him. While there is truth in this, it’s also a cognitive response that doesn’t fully address the heart issue.
Not just adults struggle with this. Thankfully, Sydney-based chaplain Chris Morphew has taken the time to provide tweens with a fuller answer. He addresses the longing many of us experience when we have chosen to follow Jesus: “believing he loves you is one thing. Actually feeling that love is something else” (7-8).
How Can I Feel Closer to God?
Chris Morphew
Sooner or later, kids ask big questions about themselves and their faith: If God is real, why doesn’t he feel real? How can I make him seem less far away? What does a relationship with Jesus actually look like? What about when going to church or reading the Bible just feels boring and pointless?
Christian Studies teacher and school chaplain Chris Morphew has been answering big questions from kids for over a decade. In this fun and fast-paced book, he shows children how to grow in their relationship with God through the ordinary yet powerful habits of everyday discipleship.
Apprentice to Jesus
In How Can I Feel Closer to God?, Morphew begins with a framework of faith—if you want to feel closer to God, you have to be friends with him first. Thankfully, Jesus has done everything we need to enable us to be friends with God: “Jesus invites us into deep, life-changing friendship with him, right here, right now, today” (18). We are to be an “apprentice”—someone who learns from Jesus how to live and be friends with God. This terminology is helpful for tweens, because disciple is no longer common vernacular, and being a follower is more associated with social media.
Morphew’s message is that the key to feeling close to God is to intentionally and diligently invest in our relationship with him though prayer, Bible reading, and meeting with God’s people. Many find this hard—it can feel awkward because we are out of practice, or we struggle with busyness and distraction. I’m not certain that busyness is one of the biggest struggles for tweens preventing them spending time with God. I wonder whether it could also be a lack of confidence, uncertainty of its value, and a general disinterest in things that take thoughtful time. However, whatever the reason, Morphew assures: “if feeling close to God doesn’t come easily to you, it’s important to realise that’s completely normal” (28).
Pray, Read, Meet
These struggles are indeed normal, yet we still want to feel closer to God. So, what does Morphew suggest it might look like for tweens to invest in their relationship with him?
1. Take 10 minutes a day to be still and thank God—for anything and everything. He encourages a daily habit of prayer, using the Lord’s prayer as a guide, and explains what it means to pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17). “God isn’t inviting us to pray instead of living the rest of our lives. He’s inviting us to pray as we live the rest of our lives.” (46). We can talk to him throughout the day, with a simple please, sorry or thank you. Writing prayers down also helps us to see God at work over time.
2. Regular Bible reading is essential: “As apprentices of Jesus, getting to know the Bible inside and out is one of the most important, most valuable ways we can grow closer to God” (52). The advice is obvious, yet still important for shaping young believers: read a book not random verses, write about what you learn, and talk about it with others.
If feeling close to God doesn’t come easily to you, it’s important to realise that’s completely normal
3. Be part of Christian community: “If you want to feel closer to God, you need to stay connected to his people” (63). I love his encouragement here for hesitant youth to “go all in”. Sing aloud, join in prayer, follow along in the Bible, get to know people, and generally be involved. When many young people prefer to hang back to see if others will go first and no-one wants to stick their neck out, this is excellent advice. (He notes he could also have written a whole chapter on how music can help us feel closer to God. Part of me wishes he had, but his brief comments still point readers in that direction.)
The whole book is written assuming hesitation and uncertainty—I want to feel close to God, but what can I do about it? I like the way Morphew addresses questions honestly (How much time will it take? But what if I find it boring?), but also with an element of challenge. Yes, it will take time and, in fact, God wants your whole life, not just bits of it. If you find it boring, perhaps you haven’t gone all in.
Feelings Aren’t Everything
But there’s one more key answer Morphew gives: it’s not all about how we feel.
Considering the title of the book, this is a crucial point to end on. Some days we will feel incredibly close to God—loved by him and connected to him. Yet, there will also be times that he feels distant, no matter how much time we might spend in his Word, in prayer, or with his people. Feelings absolutely matter—we want to pay attention to them and have language to express them. But at the same time, feelings aren’t always true.
Your feelings are your mind’s and your body’s responses to what’s happening in your life. Sometimes those feelings match up with how things really are, and sometimes they don’t. (83)
It’s critical for young people (and all of us) to grasp this—we need to balance a healthy awareness of our feelings, with a scepticism of their accuracy.
Morphew’s style is so winsome for this upper-primary age. Direct, age-appropriate, fun, and no condescension. Just like a normal conversation with a younger person. Emma Randall’s minimal illustrations add variety and interest, and there’s Bible references throughout (though I wonder how many young people are likely to look them up—perhaps including some more in full text would have been a good idea).
The whole series is one that many tweens (and their parents) will want on their bookshelves. The six books cover numerous topics, answering questions about faith, suffering, and our identity in Christ. If you have tweens in your life these books address the questions they are asking. If they long to feel closer to God, share your own experiences, and give them this book to help guide them along the way.
